One experience away

Consider this:  We are all just one experience away from releasing our judgment

Think back to when you were a child. Life was lived in absolutes and unknowingly filled with judgment.   Do you remember thinking or learning the following things?

  • Kids that wore nice clothes were rich.
  • Kids that wore dirty clothes were poor.
  • Families with big houses were successful.
  • Kids that were always in trouble would never succeed.
  • Teachers that were pretty were nicer.

Before we all left middle school we slowly learned that many of our youthful judgments were incorrect. However just as we release those incorrect beliefs, the list evolves as we grow up to include things we would never do.  Have you ever thought or heard any of the following statements?

  • I’d never date outside of my race.
  •  I’d never have an abortion.
  • I’d never be gay or love anyone who is.
  • I’d never let anyone abuse me.
  • I’d never divorce.
  • I’d never cheat.
  • I’ll never have debt or everyone has debt
  • And the topper was always and I’d never tolerate anyone who did any of those things.

Well, all of that is easy to say when it is abstract and not in your home. The fastest way to blow up a judgment is to have it land in your lap.  I remember a friend who was in a medical waiting room to discuss what birth control would be best for her.  There happened to be a pamphlet about a local abortion support group.  She picked it up and held it up to me while boldly stating, “I would never do that!”  10 minutes after she was called back to talk with the doctor she learned that she was pregnant at 17 years old.  Her opinion of safe abortion and teen pregnancy changed in an instant.

Or what happens when you hold the belief that dating outside of your race is wrong?  Then you meet the kindest person who makes your heart sing, treats you with respect, and you truly compliment each other’s life, who happens to be a different race than you.  Do you hold onto your judgment or do you open your heart to releasing this limiting belief? I vote for releasing!  The great part of free will is that you have a choice to hold on or open your mind.

It’s fascinating how much healing is possible when a judgment is released!  I have come to understand that nice clothes and a big house do not always equal financial wealth and success.  Pretty people aren’t always the nice ones. Dirty clothes don’t mean you are poor.  Having difficulty in school does not mean you won’t amount to anything.  All of the grown up judgments are bull shit too.

We are also one experience away from learning what we take for granted.  At one point in my career my schedule went from 5 days a week to include working every 3rd weekend.  I was frustrated that I had not savored my weekend time more, since now I was going to have less of them. When relationships end there is often something that you wish you did more with that person, but now it is too late.  Pause, pay attention, open your mind and send love in every direction you have available to you.


Kristin Springfield


2 years makes a huge difference!

Today is the 2 year anniversary of the official end of my marriage.  I recall sitting in the golden chairs of shame shaking and crying as I realized that I was suddenly homeless.  Not homeless in a way that would leave me under a bridge, but homeless in the way that there was no safe place to rest my head and heart where it would be protected.  I asked him to sit with me.  He complied to be in the same room, yet would not sit.  I started with saying I wanted to shift the energy and share what we appreciated about each other.  I was ready to start by saying how much I appreciated the kiss I received in my sleep as he left for work before the sunrise.  I never got the chance.  He turned his attention to me saying he wanted a divorce and wanted me to move out immediately.

Today, I am surrounded with people who gladly share what they appreciate about me with ease.  I don’t even have to ask.  Today I heard thank you for all I do  from 8 different people.  All I was doing that they thanked me for was just me being me.  I did nothing spectacular in my eyes.   A stranger told me that they love my purpose and blog.  15 people shared that they couldn’t wait to read my book while others confidently told me I would go far with my writing.  Today, I have more than a home, I have a life filled with passion and purpose that I am proud of.  I have created a home within my heart and soul that can never be taken away.

I look different on the outside and inside than I did 2 years ago.  My heart is open and actively healing with purpose to be complete.  I am stronger and braver than I ever imagined or gave myself credit for.  How many of us minimize ourselves?  I have been a pro at that, but today I pause.  I am grateful for the greatest gift of ejection from a life of destruction that ended 2 years ago today!  

Kristin Springfield

Radiating gratitude

You will wish you had!

Everywhere I turn I am reminded to live in this moment, even if it is uncomfortable.  I work with a wonderful population of the elderly.  Many of them can’t do the things they once loved.  The ladies are wearing shoes that they would have not been caught dead in at my age.  One woman turns to me and says, “Buy the fashionable shoes now!  You will wish you had.” Another someone says, “Buy the dress that you look great in but have no where in mind to wear it.  You will wish you had.”  Another someone says, “Take the trip!  Don’t keep waiting, do it while you can.”

I am bombarded with these messages.  I can’t help but think my heart is now communicating with me through the experience of others.  These wonderful seniors carry wisdom that is so often overlooked.  My challenge is to be humble enough to listen and act on their guidance.  I am guilty of putting things off and not buying a dynamite dress with the heels because I have no place to wear them.  Yet one time I did, and boy did it feel amazing!

Taking my trip across the country last year for pushed every personal fear I had to the limit.  Yet I took a baby trip to Miami Beach, FL before the big leap trip.  I met a girlfriend on a last minute trip.  Nervousness did not even touch the anxiety and adrenaline flowing through my veins as I boarded my plan in Raleigh, NC.  I had flown numerous times before, but not alone for a pleasure focused trip.  My cab ride to the unknown hotel almost had me throwing up out the window, and then I felt the ocean breeze.  My heart beat returned to a normal pace and a feeling of calmness washed over me.

My girlfriend and I went shopping for our night on the town.  Clothing is ridiculously expensive per square inch and every dress is a micro-mini dress in Miami Beach.  I wasn’t sure if I had what it would take to try on, buy and then wear one of those dresses.  The salesman was brilliant.  The fellow customers must have been working for commission that day.  As I slipped into one of the smallest dresses I have worn in years, the salesman handed me the highest heels ever to be placed on my feet.  I checked to make certain the private parts of my body were covered appropriately, adjusted the heels and stepped out of the dressing room.  The shop’s movement stopped and all eyes were on me.  “Oh my God! Turn around and take this off immediately!” continued to go through my mind.  Then suddenly the room erupted with compliments in my direction.  I could not believe my eyes and ears.  As the people began to quiet down I remembered a dear elderly woman telling me, “Buy the dress.  Buy the shoes.  You will find THE place to wear them!  You will wish you had!”  In honor of that wonderful woman, I followed her guidance.

that dress, those shoes, the tripThat night, I concurred another fear while actually wearing the dress and the shoes in public.  In Miami Beach women wear string bikinis and high heels 24 hours a day, so my dress was on the conservative end for the area.  After the anxiety and adrenaline subsided joy filled my heart and soul as I proudly walked down the sidewalk to our destination for the evening.  It does feel amazing to live in the moment responsibly with a flair for fabulous.  That dress and those shoes have rarely been worn since.  Yet every time they are, the room stops, stares, and smiles.  I have no idea when I will wear this outfit again, but I do trust that when the time shows up, I will know it.

Living in this moment takes courage for me.  It is more comfortable to analyze the past or plan for the future.  Yet all that is real is Now. I choose to listen fully to my heart and to the people who have wise recommendations to share.  So buy those shoes that your future feet will never be able to wear.  Wear the dress your future body won’t be flattered in.  Take the trip your future body won’t be able to tolerate.

Here’s to loving this moment!

Kristin Springfield