Mandie Miller shares her triumphant story of self esteem!
Mandie Thomas Miller, founder of Got What It Cakes, shares her story. Her relationship with self esteem is filled with twists and turns. Read on to learn how a girl went from being an insecure, feeling untalented, riddled with body issues and eating disorders to becoming a beautiful, outspoken, well loved and appreciated successful business woman, mother and wife.
It is always amazing to me who I meet along my travels while Womanly Journey comes to life. A remarkable woman, her family, and I crossed paths in Charlotte, NC earlier this year. Mandie Thomas Miller exemplifies the reality that extraordinary women live among us. She started a creative business named Got What It Cakes. Yes, it says Cakes! She learned the basics on You Tube. How inspiring!
She took the time to share her story about her journey that leads her to where she is today. “Let’s start at the beginning, my parents fell in love, married, and had a family in their early 20’s. In that family there were 3 children; first Jackie, then me, and then my brother John. Needles to say as a mother now, I understand what life might have been like for them in a way I was not able to see as a child.
I am (or should I say WAS) a very textbook middle child. And I felt this way from a young age. I always acted out, trying to get attention, and I’m pretty sure I stayed in time out most of the time. My siblings and I always tried the same sports…basketball, t-ball, etc. I was good at nothing; they were good (or great) at EVERYTHING! I tried my hand in gymnastics. I found that I was okay…nothing spectacular, but good for starting so “late” in life. I still felt that I did not compare to the natural talent of my siblings.
I struggled with self esteem in so many different ways. I often thought I was not thin enough (as a gymnast, it’s always on my mind). I struggled with believing if my parents would be proud of me. I didn’t have a best friend and I wondered why. At that time I did not notice if a boy ever liked me. And the list goes on. I eventually developed anorexia (partly to stay thin, partly for an attention thing I’m sure), and later in college I developed a combo disorder in anorexia/bulimia. The guys that I eventually dated were not good for me, and I knew that. But I didn’t have the self esteem to think I deserved better.
Things finally started to change when I went to college. I loved getting to meet new people, and getting out of my sister’s shadow. I had a new found sense of starting over when I went away to school. I did make the cheerleading squad and the old Mandie who
picked herself apart came back…and so did the eating disorders. I went to therapy and started figuring out where it was all coming from.
A turning point for me was when I met Joshua…my angel. He saved me….very simply, he saved me from myself. Without knowing about the “insecure” side of me, he said all of the things I had wanted to hear…he was so genuine with his compliments of me. He thought I was beautiful, even though I was the biggest I had ever been in my life. He thought I was funny, outgoing, and smart. What I finally realized is I WAS all of those things…and I had always known deep down that I was. It just took meeting him to make me realize it.
My relationship with myself overall has been great ever since. Of course, a lot of my “feeling good about me” thoughts are wrapped up in my weight gain/loss, but I don’t let it control me anymore. And even with all of the stress that goes along with having a crazy/busy/successful business, two toddlers and keeping my husband happy, I feel very secure about me! I’m doing what I’m meant to do!
I want other women and girls to know that looking back on my life; I realize that my parents did the best that they could. We had a lot of fun as a family (we were, and still are, very close). My mom and dad both help me so much with my business. Mom does my dishes; Dad helps me build cake related stands/structures. I know that they are of proud of me, my business, my family, and my marriage, etc.
I reflect on being younger, and I now realize that I had it great! So my parents could not attend everything I participated in. I realize now as a mother that sometimes other issues that your children are not aware of need your attention!
I wish I could go back to that girl and tell her to stop comparing herself to everyone …and just be herself!I now don’t feel like a middle child at all! I feel like my parents are beyond proud of me…Jackie would say I’m their favorite. That makes me laugh out loud. We joke that John is their favorite. My sister and I are best friends…we even bought the lots behind each other so we could live back to back, and see each other daily. John and I are also very close; he and his wife chose us as their son & future children’s legal guardian, for which we are honored.”
