Mondays Rock Now!
Posted on: September 14, 2015 • 2 Comments
My very favorite Monday ever!
My first 4-wheeler ride in the beautiful Wyoming occurred last week. It just so happened to be on a Monday. Prior to this trip Mondays were busy, hectic and exhausting. This Monday was emotionally and physically challenging as I navigated a terrain I was not familiar with on a vehicle I operated for about 30 minutes yesterday for the first time. This Monday was invigorating as I hugged new trees, experienced kindness, generosity and support from friends, and as I was one with nature in a new way. It was a perfect day. The air, land, and water are so pure and clean here. I learned to fly fish today right and left handed. I figured that since I did not know how to fly fish, I might as well learn on both arms. I am actually a bit better using my left arm. That does not mean that any fish were caught. I am only referring to the actual movement of the rod.
It has become evident that I am coming the rest of the way undone. Maybe this journey is more about unbecoming everything I thought I was supposed to be that really is not me. I have found that I love a new way to be one with the outdoors; 4 wheeling, and fly-fishing. I just like to be outside in the fresh air and quiet. Sitting on the dry rocks in the midst of a stream bring such peace. As I look all around me, the beauty of God resonates everywhere, and at last, my mind quiets. There is not a struggle for joy. There is no searching for an answer. It is just loving, calming, and in the now. As I further release the past, I am more equipped to be present. The past is similar to chains. I have the key to the lock to release the chains. It feels so good to let them go.
Yes, my heart still aches for what I thought life would be like. It is almost annoying. Let’s get real with my self for a minute here! I have quit a secure job and decided to take care of myself first with money I have saved for the past 20 years. I would have never given myself permission to do this if it were not hitting the bottom of the pit. Within the struggle, I realized that I have nothing left to lose that matters. I want to unbecome the parts of me that no longer fit. I want to unbecome the expectations of my self and others. I want to be the very best me and allow all others to do the same, no matter what that looks like. I have not a clue as to what the future will hold for me. That is okay, for what I see in front of me right now is spectacular!