Clean it up and look who shows up

BoysPosted on: November 12, 2015 • 2 Comments

It is amazing to see who shows up when I clean up my emotional stuff.  A challenge to being a stepparent truly shows up when there is a divorce.  As a stepparent, you do not really get anything.  The children may or may not ever see or speak to you again.  You are kind of like a fairy godmother, yet on their terms.  You get what they want, or can give you and nothing more.  I had four stepsons that were a part of my life for 10 years.  When I moved out last Christmas, there was a great deal of sadness for multiple reasons.  One reason for me was the concern that I may never see or hear from these boys again.  They filled the last decade of my life with love, laughter and growth (their height and my emotions).  I did not want to lose my family!  I wanted to continue to have someone to nurture.  What I did not realize at the time, was that person I needed to nurture was myself.

Along my solo tree-hugging journey, I have done a great deal of emotional healing.  Some of that process has been gentle and some has been a full on fight.  Part of that healing included allowing others to show up in my life, as they wanted to and in their own time.  With that release, I realized that I need to let go of the sadness concerning the boys.  Just send them love, keep my heart open and see what happens.  I so love how the universe works!  I keep letting go of my connection to the need for a man in order to feel complete in my life and these wonderful young men magically show back up.

I received a text from one of my wonder boys.  Now that they are not my stepsons, I have a new title for them:  Wonder Boys.  My role to them was called Wonder Mom rather than stepmom.  It seems only fitting to give them the Wonder title!  These few texts lead to dinner plans for all three boys that are in town.  It was incredible to spend time with them.  The love washed over me with hugs and hearing the words, “I love you!  I missed you!”

The last time I spent time with them we were all struggling as our lives together unraveled.  Coming back together tonight was delightful!  We were able to share stories of what is going on currently.  I shared my life transformation of quitting my job and having no plans, one of the boys stated that we were exactly in the same spot in life.  We have no clue what we are going to do or where we will live.  Being on common ground is fun.  They were shocked and supportive of my new way of life transformation.  I always felt like we were in harmony when they were young kids.  Here we are again on the same page, just in a different way.  It was clear that I am not in the over responsible place of direction anymore for them.  My recommendation is no longer mainstream with employment or schooling. They asked if I was going back to college.  I said “No.”  They were joking around while hoping we would have classes together.  Lol!  That would be interesting!

To sit on the couch as a group again being goofy is something I will cherish forever.  They warmed my heart and soul while reminding me that love never goes away!  They were so generous with their hugs, kind words and love all evening.  Thank you does not begin to express the depth of gratitude I feel for this day.   I look forward to the next time they magically show up, no matter when that may be.


Kristin Springfield

2 Comments for Clean it up and look who shows up

    • It was amazing!