Posted on: October 31, 2015 •
This morning I go for a walk out the backdoor of the Santa Fe Airbnb where I am staying. Upon reaching the top of the hill, I look out over the city to the mountains. It was so beautiful that tears came to my eyes. This emotional reaction to nature has increased over the past 2 months. Sometimes I joke and say my eyes are bleeding from all of the beauty. They certainly are leaking!
I will receive a surprise email from a friend that shares genuine support and kindness and then cry. The kindness of humanity is truly spectacular. The people I have met along the way have reminded me of how wonderful people really are. They are excited to share, help and encourage. I realize that it is my choice to recognize the beauty in nature and people. I could choose to see the negative in both if I wanted to. We attract what we put out. I want to remember that kindness regardless of where I am in life, as this Womanly Journey road trip ends in 2 weeks.
Now it is time to trust that what I need will flow to me. My return home date is approaching and I find some anxiety returning. It is all about old fears. I understand that it will require different discipline to stay present when I am not experiencing new towns every few days. I have found my heart and finally love me in a complete way that I have never experienced before. That being said, I have very little time under my belt of living life this new way. My goal upon returning home is to continue my new way of life of loving myself while remaining present. I see a shit ton of meditating, yoga and tree hugging in my future upon returning home!
It is my time for COURAGE. I find some anxiety bubbling up about actually returning home. It is possible for me to step right back into my old way of life. My mind is throwing in obstacles of how EASY it would be to return to the old life and not do anything else for my spirit. The message is “Just get back in line. You had your fun, now get back to work.” Oh, I will return to work, just not the same work or work in the same way again.
I am putting my new skills to the ultimate test! Breathe in this moment and pause. Allow life to bring me what I need. I let go of the behaviors and beliefs that do not serve me in the river while in Sedona. Yet I find myself digging in the river to pick up those behavior and belief marbles, because I have so much experience in using them.
Just breathe! My “job” is to experience the next 2 weeks fully and make no decisions about where I will live or work next. I am confident that sorting through, selling and packing up, my things in Danville will be an ultimate opportunity for further healing.