Posted on: November 1, 2015 • 2 Comments
While walking in the woods of Bandelier National Monument, “it” hits me as to what I am to do. Trust and focus on what really matters! What is it that really matters? Is it where I live physically? Not really. Is it what I actually do for a living? No. So what is it? I have been sharing my journey and the story with lots of people. Most of those people I am meeting for the first time when the story slinging begins. The authenticity of the interaction and connection with sharing our stories is infectiously wonderful. Tonight at dinner a woman is seated next to me and I think she is eating alone. I make a comment about a fellow solo female diner and the connection begins. She is actually waiting for a friend of hers. Yet, before I know it she is helping me figure out my journey and shares her profession of empowering women leaders. It is interesting because, moments before she sits down I am writing in my journal about where would I like to live for the next 12 months. In this conversation with my new restaurant friend I realize I am going about this backwards.
There are many places that I have visited that I would like to live for a 12 month period. What I recognized was that I need to be clear on what matters to me and the place will reveal itself. My mind is working hard to create anxiety and fear around returning home. Like there is some need to hurry up or all the forward growth I have made will vanish. Bull Shit! It is similar to fearing that I will suddenly forget how to read. These new skills need to be nurtured, yet they can never be unlearned.
What I desire is simple. I am committed to loving myself fully where I am , as I am along my journey of spiritual growth. I desire to connect with other women in supportive and authentic friendships filled with love and compassion as we deal with our individual shit. I want a career that is positively dedicated to empowering women and men in being their best selves while enriching the lives of others. I am devoted to co-creating a sacred relationship with a man where we sit on the same side of the table in order to support each other’s growth while further enhancing the depth of our partnership. Physically where those things occur is irrelevant. I simply need to listen to my heart on this one and see where it tells me to land, because I will go there.
My intense mental analyzing of things has proven to no longer be effective. I have learned many lessons about myself along this trip. I love being amongst the trees daily. Smaller cities bring out the best in me. 25 to 85 thousand people seem to be my sweet spot at this point. I enjoy being towards the outskirts of what is considered “normal” for that area. That way people laugh at my absurd humor. I like the seasons with a shorter very mild winter. It is true that in dryer regions the hot and cold don’t feel as hot or cold. Previously, I didn’t really understand what that actually would feel like. It is true. The draw back to dryer climates is the extra expense of lotion!
This is my last night in the southwest. I head to Oaklahoma city, Memphis, Asheville and then home in the next 10 days. In those 10 days I get to be with myself, stay with a friend who loves me, and be in the mountains. It is perfect!
2 Comments for Trust and focus
- On November 1, 2015 at 7:41 am (Edit) Angela Harris said:
- Hi Kris, I have really enjoyed reading your blog. I admire your bravery in sharing your journey. Do me a favor. .. as you travel home stop in a Kingdom Hall. You will have to call or Google for meeting times. Tell them Angela Harris from the Highland Heights Congregation said hi, be sure to take a photo. You may even meet some folk who have set aside time travel and visit new places. Think of it as the toppings on yor great adventure!
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- On November 1, 2015 at 11:13 pm (Edit) Sherolyn said:
- I’ve been so excited for you and your journey. I agree that the place we live isn’t as important as just being happy with who you are and enjoying what you bring.
- I also love the idea of helping others better themselves, that’s what I find the most joy in doing. That’s a mission statement that speaks to my soul.
- You’ve been missed.