Another layer pulled away

highest self Kristin SpringfieldI am working on my book everyday now.  My goal is to write between 1500 and 2000 words a day.  The words flow easily out of my mind through my fingertips and into the computer.  Today’s task was to write about my adventures while visiting the Grand Tetons.  The highlights of that trip included spending time with a dear girlfriend whom I had not seen in 11 years, a kiss from a male in the form of a Great Dane, hikes and a fantastic raft ride through the Grand Teton National Park.  Some of the low lights included revisiting some raw journal entries, navigating through the loss of the ideas of what I hoped my life would have looked like, and listening to my daughter burst into tears as she read my blog.  

Writing this book is pealing another layer of pain and illusion away.  I am revisiting the joy and tears along my tree hugging tour.  It is not to further live in the past, it is to let even more of the pain go.  It felt like I was shedding layers by the minute while on my trip.  That feeling continues now on most days.  Some of the topics I write about seem

to take longer to recover from.  I may only write for two hours, but the emotions that come up stay for many more.  Today was one of those days.

            I ended up in the woods of Danville talking to a few key painful players from my past aloud as though they were there.  It’s a good thing the woods I walk rarely have anyone else around.  I can only imagine what it would sound like from a distance.  This time it was different. I realize why this book is writing me and continuing this healing journey with such vengeance.  I desire to peel back the layers of my dead self that no longer serve me and release the false beliefs in order to allow my highest self to shine fully!  I love my self more today than I did yesterday, and am confident I will love more tomorrow.  My initial commitment to myself over 7 years ago to move through this world being authentic to my highest self continues to take me on the most surprising and incredible journey.  I am not about to stop now.

I find myself in relationships that further reveal the value of authenticity.  No matter how uncomfortable the truth may be, it is worth exposing me in order to share the joy loud and proud without fear of judgment.  The judgment from others is not my business.  I have come to a point in my life where the people who know and love me are so happy that I am in a place where I am treated with kindness, love and respect while feeling happy and not trying to kill myself!  They don’t much care about anything else and that makes my life grand.  I am so thankful for the love I receive.  Those of you who matter don’t mind what my life looks like, because you love me anyway.  Those of you mind what my relationship resume looks like, don’t really know me for who I am and therefore there is no room for you to matter.  For all that really is important in this world is that we are truly happy.  It is when we are happy with ourselves that we make the greatest impact on our world and the world of those who love us.