Tinkerbell is yelled at for her beauty

 

Tinkerbell Chronicles of beauty

Tinkerbell comes home after a long day at work with one desire in mind; create in comfort.  She pulls into the garage and as she puts the car in park off goes her bra.  Ahhh! Relief and sigh accompany her walk into the home, up the stairs into her bedroom.

Tinkerbell has worked for years to love her body fully.  She bought into the false belief that you must be thin.  She came up in the time where thin was “In”.  Now women are expected to be more fit and tone which produces a different style of pressure to be “attractive”.  On the low self love days Tinkerbell immediately goes back to feeling she is heavy.  Even as her love and appreciation for her body come to life, there is still the old habit of negative self talk.  In the past she drew all of her body acceptance from her beloved Peter Pan.  That worked out well for Peter, because Tinkerbell would do anything for his compliments and approval.  Well, now that Tinkerbell is finding more love within herself she owns her body in a whole new way. Peter struggles with this change in Tinkerbell.  For his power to have Tinkerbell dependent on his compliments is slipping away.

Tinkerbell noticed as she pulled into the driveway that she is home alone.  With a spring in her step she hangs up her work clothes and skips to the dresser to dress in comfortable clothes so she can work on her latest art project.  She has thought about this project all day.  She can’t wait to get out her paints to finish what she started last night.  In that moment Peter Pan walks into the bedroom.  He’s home early.  Tinkerbell is happy to see him and turns toward him.  Peter looks at her up and down, huffs out in disgust, then turns and walks out of the room.

Tinkerbell is confused and looks down at her body to find herself in underwear.  Peter has seen her a million times like this, why is today upsetting?  Like any woman, she begins to feel bad about how she looks, and the old self hate messages begin to bubble up.  She starts with the self doubting questions, “Am I too fat now?  Does he not find me attractive?  Did I do something wrong?”  She shakes her head with certainty that there is something else going on.  Tinkerbell puts her clothes on and heads into the living room to find Peter visibly upset in his chair.

“Peter, is everything okay?” Tinkerbell reaches over to touch Peter.   “It’s fine.”  Peter barks back as he pulls away, “Are you done in the bedroom taking your clothes off?”

“Yes but, I am wondering if something is wrong.  Do you no longer find me attractive?  Or if I have done something to upset you. I notice that for the past few weeks you have been walking out of the room when I am changing and not coming into the bathroom to talk when I’m in the shower like you used to.  Is there something I am missing?” Tinkerbell quietly questions.

Peter Pan jumps up with rage in his eyes and yells, “That is ridiculous!  You are perfect physically and beautiful beyond belief.  You are stupid for thinking that you’re not!  I don’t want to see you undressed, because you now own yourself and hold all of the cards.  Since I have no control over any of that I don’t want to look at you, clothed or not.”  Peter storms out of the room as Tinkerbell stands there stunned.

underwearShe reviews in her head what just happened with an internal dialogue.  “Did I hear Peter correctly?  Since I now call the shots when it comes to my body, he doesn’t want to look at me.  Oh, and I am attractive to a fault in his eyes and stupid for not seeing it.  Interesting.  Well, I am certain how I can get some more private time; prance around the house naked and Peter Pan will go running for the woods.”  She says this as she return to her art project in just her underwear.

Peter stormed back into the art room, took one look at Tinkerbell, and left the house.

Own your body, mind and spirit.  The Peter Pans of the world will reveal themselves soon enough.  You will know who truly has your best interests at heart.

Namaste!
Kristin