The Tree of life rings true love

Tree of life ringJoy washes over me as my jeweler presents my tree of life ring to me.  It is a perfect mix of nature, art, love and gypsy style.  This ring is created with diamonds given to me by two significant people in my life.  I simply could not wear the original rings without heart ache, even though they were given with love in mind, that is long gone between the giver and I.

Back in January I returned to Arizona and Utah for a round two.  That trip was to revisit my most likely to move to locations.  The morning before I left, the Buddha in my heart gave me a clear message, “Wear your rings.”  Confusion and disbelief came to me.  Why would I bring and wear the rings that bring heartache along this journey of self discovery.  My inner Buddha responded with more love, “I will show you how these rings will bring you closer to your highest self.”  I shook my head and followed the Buddha of my heart.

Along my trip, I wore the rings on every hike.  There were 24 diamonds between the two rings.  The value of 24 came to life on a solo hiking trip in Sedona.   Each diamond represents a year of my life from the age of 20 to current time as a 44 year old.  At the age of 20, I chose to discover myself within a relationship and did not stop that until I turned 42.  There are many wonderful and heart breaking memories over the past 24 years in my relationships. I had to search a bit more to discover experiences each year that were only about authentically loving myself from 20 years old to now.  On my hikes throughout that two week trip revealed some amazing memories of personal triumph, love and courage.  The diamonds represent an authentic self loving experience of each year of life since I turned 20 years old and I am proud of myself for each and every one of them!

Those self honoring diamond experiences are now in the form of a magnificent ring designed and created from the Buddha within my heart.  This ring reminds me to bring love forward from all of my relationships especially the relationship with myself.

Thank you to the Buddha of my heart, for asking me to open my heart to these precious stones of the earth.  Something that is uniquely me now graces my life daily.

Namaste!

Kristin
Gypsy tree hugger

Buddha gets a deck!

As Tinkerbell continues on her journey, she focuses to allow the Buddha in her heart to lead the way.  It has been a long and emotionally difficult journey to shift the focus.  Tinkerbell is committed to living life from the inside out.  That means that she knows that love comes from within her first and then flows to the outside.  She does not have to do anything in order to experience love and kindness.  The outside reflects what is on the inside, for the outside can NEVER fill the heart with love and joy.  Our happiness is an inside job.

For all of Tinkerbell’s life she has been living from the outside in.  She believed she needed to be good enough on the outside in order to experience love within.  Thoughts become things, and Tinkerbell’s thoughts of needing to do something in order to receive love became her truth in relationships.  Over time Tinkerbell learned that men are unsafe, and they require her to be someone they need or do something in order to make their lives emotionally comfortable and easier in order to receive their love.  The biggest lie of all was that if they did do something nice for her, eventually they would punish her for their kindness by withdrawing love, leaving a bill, or creating more work in their wake than was there to begin with.

Fast forward to present time with Buddha in charge.  Wow!  Life has changed. Kindness and love radiate from her heart and wonderful things happen without anything required of Tinkerbell.  Countless men have shown up to be kind without any expectation to receive anything.  By opening her heart to loving herself first Tinkerbell is now experiencing love outside of her in many ways.   The most recent example of this is a brand new deck!

2 men and 2 women built my new deck and created a fire pit, all because they wanted to.  My courage was needed to even voice to my beloved friends that a project was coming up.  The 2 men were quick to offer their time and encouraged me not to pay anyone to do it.  Emotions and fears light up in me like a Christmas tree.  This deck would be for my property only.  Of course they would get to enjoy it, but it was clearly for me.  Am I worth that kindness and generosity?  Buddha says, “Yes. Just keep sending love and gratitude.”  By the end of dinner we had a date set to rebuild.  Excitement and calmness washed over me.

2 weeks before the build date another fear bubbled up. “What if they don’t show up to rebuild the deck? I can’t do it myself.  I’d better get a backup plan in for some crew I’d pay to do this project.”  That one was subdued pretty quickly with meditation and everyone showing up on the project morning.  Buddha says, “Shhhh. Wait and see.”

The magic happened with the team working together.  The men were kind to one another.  No tension, no anger, no complaining in the 95 degree heat.  The weekend was hot, the deck needed 95% of it replaced, and none of us had worked together on a project before.  It was a delight to work with these 2 men.  Jeff took the time to stop and teach me how to use a drill correctly.  Funny, it turns out I have been making it harder than it really is for many years.  It is kind of ironic to learn that I was making the use of a drill harder than necessary.  With this new skill, I built about 2/3rds of the railing for the deck and screwed down a few of the boards!  I did have the opportunity to do feminine tasks with my girlfriend, Jessie.  We kept the guys hydrated and fed.  I cooked a spectacular dinner for the completion of work for the first day while almost slicing off my finger tip in the process.  It was a perfect end to the first day of this two day project.

Low and behold another fear came up as I was getting ready for bed.  “What will I do if they don’t get it done and then I have to find someone to finish it?  Oh my, who would I have to hire to do that?  I don’t know who would help me with that.”  I must have said it out loud, because Jeff said, “We will get it done tomorrow.  If we are not able to for some reason then we will deal with it together, but trust me that it will get done.  I will help you.”  A wave of peace and gratitude washed over me.  I had not realized how much tension and fear was wrapped around asking for help and then allowing the person to actually help.

While in Utah last year, I visited Best Friends Animal Sanctuary.  This is a no kill sanctuary for every animal imaginable.  If I were an animal this is the place I would want to live!  While touring the dog facilities I met a full grown female pit bull who had been abused by men.  She had gone through a great deal growing up and as a result she was petrified of men. This came out in growls, aggressive behaviors and if that did not work then she would retreat and bark nonstop until the man left.  At the sanctuary she was showered with love and training just like all of the animals are.  The trainers realized that she had only interacted with mean men.  The trainer explained, “What this dog needed was to meet many kind men and then she could learn that men weren’t mean, just her abusers were.”  The day I met her, she was scheduled to be adopted out by a family that included a mother, father and 2 teenage boys.  With hearing her story, I remember standing there with tears in my eyes.   I realized that I had made an unfair generalization on men.  All of them are not mean.  Nor will they leave me with an unfinished project to find someone else to finish.  I just needed to open my heart to loving myself more in order to attract kind men into my life.  Gladly, I can say that it actually worked.  I have met many kind men in all aspects of my life over the past two years!

buddha's deckSunday evening as the last screw was put in place on the deck, tears came to my eyes as I remembered the dog from Utah.  This was a healing moment and gratitude overflowed right out of my eyes.  I snapped a picture of these kind men who helped to heal my heart and give me a deck.  The Buddha in my heart smiled, and said, “Look!  I told you so.  Keep living from your heart and kindness can’t help but find you!”

Namaste!

Kristin Springfield

Tinkerbell loves Chocolate

In the early adult years, Tinkerbell was busy trying to be seen as a grown up in the eyes of the world she wanted to belong to.  She was 19 when she acquired her first of many dogs, an apartment, and began living with Peter Pan.   That first year of living together as “adults” was filled with great fun as well as frustration.

As a young girl, Tinkerbell could not wait to be a grown up and have a place of her own.  She believed that she would be able to whatever she wanted while creating the ultimate home for herself and her Peter Pan.   This meant that their place would be clean, neat, inviting, smell good, feel relaxing and loving all at the same time.  That is a challenge to bring to life for anyone, especially for a 19 year old who desperately wants approval and acceptance from the outside world.

chocolatesPeter Pan and Tinkerbell had many wonderful times in their first apartment.  After about 6 months of living together, a routine had been established.  Tinkerbell was busy flitting around trying to create that homey, clean, good smelling fun apartment.  She usually did a great job with managing this task.  It would take another 15 years for burnout to set in fully.  Being only 19, Tinkerbell had yet to learn how to manage frustration, disappointment, anger and sadness effectively.  One evening after the newness of living together wore off, Tinkerbell approached Peter Pan about helping out with cleaning.  He was busy watching football and did not hear her.  Tinkerbell responded in an immature way of taking the batteries out of the remote control after turning the TV off all the while walking out of the room in a huff.  Poor Peter had no idea what just happened, and followed after her.  He tried to find out what was the matter and really wanted those batteries.  The football game was apparently getting really good and let’s be honest, it was important to Peter.

Tinkerbell rambled on about needing help around the apartment, feeling lonely and missing the fun Peter promised when he moved in.  Peter knew he was out of his league with this argument.  He apologized and Tinkerbell went to bed.  She was up early the next morning for class and left without saying goodbye.  She was still hurt and angry with Peter for not helping her.

At the end of a long day, Tinkerbell arrived home ready to take the dog for a walk.  It had been one of those days that felt like it would never end.  There were hours of homework to complete, dinner to make and laundry to put away.  Much to her surprise there was a special gift on the kitchen table just for her.  There was a card professing Peter’s love for Tinkerbell, which was wonderful, but the package beneath the card had a profound impact on her mood.  The card was attached to a huge box of assorted chocolates.  Tinkerbell immediately tore the box open and started shoving the delightful chocolates into her mouth. Tears came to her eyes as she immediately forgave Peter for all wrong doing.  She flew into the living room to find Peter in the same spot he had been the night before; on the couch watching TV.  Tinkerbell landed on his lap wrapping her arms around him.  Through her tears and mouth full of chocolate she was able to communicate over and over again, “Thank you!  I love you so much! You are the best, Peter!”

Peter held his Tinkerbell close and giggled to himself.  You see, he checked the calendar today, as he was confused by her emotional state the night before.  He figured out that Tinkerbell was just about to start her monthly cycle and noticed that there was no chocolate in the house.  Peter Pan saved the day with remembering Tinkerbell’s love of chocolate, especially during “that” time of the month.  With a simple purchase of chocolates, Peter was fully forgiven.  Well played!

Tinkerbell and her inner Buddha still find chocolate to be soothing on the rough days!

Here’s to loving chocolate,
Kristin Springfield