Consider this: We are all just one experience away from releasing our judgment
Think back to when you were a child. Life was lived in absolutes and unknowingly filled with judgment. Do you remember thinking or learning the following things?
- Kids that wore nice clothes were rich.
- Kids that wore dirty clothes were poor.
- Families with big houses were successful.
- Kids that were always in trouble would never succeed.
- Teachers that were pretty were nicer.
Before we all left middle school we slowly learned that many of our youthful judgments were incorrect. However just as we release those incorrect beliefs, the list evolves as we grow up to include things we would never do. Have you ever thought or heard any of the following statements?
- I’d never date outside of my race.
- I’d never have an abortion.
- I’d never be gay or love anyone who is.
- I’d never let anyone abuse me.
- I’d never divorce.
- I’d never cheat.
- I’ll never have debt or everyone has debt
- And the topper was always and I’d never tolerate anyone who did any of those things.
Well, all of that is easy to say when it is abstract and not in your home. The fastest way to blow up a judgment is to have it land in your lap. I remember a friend who was in a medical waiting room to discuss what birth control would be best for her. There happened to be a pamphlet about a local abortion support group. She picked it up and held it up to me while boldly stating, “I would never do that!” 10 minutes after she was called back to talk with the doctor she learned that she was pregnant at 17 years old. Her opinion of safe abortion and teen pregnancy changed in an instant.
Or what happens when you hold the belief that dating outside of your race is wrong? Then you meet the kindest person who makes your heart sing, treats you with respect, and you truly compliment each other’s life, who happens to be a different race than you. Do you hold onto your judgment or do you open your heart to releasing this limiting belief? I vote for releasing! The great part of free will is that you have a choice to hold on or open your mind.
It’s fascinating how much healing is possible when a judgment is released! I have come to understand that nice clothes and a big house do not always equal financial wealth and success. Pretty people aren’t always the nice ones. Dirty clothes don’t mean you are poor. Having difficulty in school does not mean you won’t amount to anything. All of the grown up judgments are bull shit too.
We are also one experience away from learning what we take for granted. At one point in my career my schedule went from 5 days a week to include working every 3rd weekend. I was frustrated that I had not savored my weekend time more, since now I was going to have less of them. When relationships end there is often something that you wish you did more with that person, but now it is too late. Pause, pay attention, open your mind and send love in every direction you have available to you.