“Go to your room!”

 

I have been in the hallway of life for about 5 months now.  The next obvious door has not opened, nor have I been shoved through one by God.  Actually, the message has been to stay in the hallway, until now.  Many fabulous people and experiences have visited me in the hallway, yet it is time to go to “My room”.  I remember when I was young and told to, “Go to your room!”  Sometimes it was after behaving badly, other times it was to simply spend quiet time alone, or to get homework done.  As I grew up I understood that actually the object was for my parents to have private time without the ears or eyes of a child around.  I imagined then, that they were always talking about my pending Christmas presents.  Maybe there is a place called “My room” along this hallway where I can stop and regroup. I simply need to find it.

I have been parenting myself now for many years, and have developed some great skills that I am proud of. For example, I work hard on projects with a desire to create something that not only achieves the goal, but is fun for others and eye opening.  Yet some of my skills are not healthy on a long term basis.  I tend to overdo, seek opportunity to help others, take on huge emotional healing projects (like this blog for example), and over exercise all the while taking no breaks.  Just recently, I exercised to the point that my abs hurt so badly I thought it may be my ovary exploding.  Nope, it was just from doing way too many extended plank holds and running too fast because of my awesome music selection.  NO breaks, turns into painful burn out.  Then, your body pretty much forces you to take a break. Well, the last time I allowed myself to burn out completely; I drove 11,000 miles and quit work for 7 months.

As wonderful as that experience was, I can’t afford to do that yearly!  There has to be a better way for me to love myself enough to stop, take a break and go to “My room”.  Through completing my first book, reading my travel journals and starting the second book, I remembered where I feel at peace; on the road.  Is the road “My room” or is it something more than that?

I will just have to find out, because I am going to “My room” for 2 weeks.  I am gifting me with the ultimate Valentine’s Day gift; a mini solo trip to Arizona and Utah. The people I met in those two states along my journey helped to heal my heart and soul in a very unique way, and I am going back. What I am leaving behind is just as important.  My roles of daughter, mother, care taker, worker, therapist, coach, and the girl who just wants to be liked at any cost are staying here, because I know that they will be waiting for me upon my return.

The moment I clicked the purchase button for the ticket my heart sang!  And then my soul wept with gratitude while saying in relief, “Thank God, she FINALLY listened!”  Whatever residual stress, heartache, and pain find their way with me on this trip will be left in the woods, thrown at the base of great red rocks and given to the wind.  I will have sleepovers, stay up late and talk all night in “My room”.  I will drive alone, hike alone, and talk to God alone.  The only person I am taking with me is the highest and quirkiest version of me, and she can’t wait!

I will gladly “Go to My room!”  I love this kind of “Time Out.”

Namaste!

Kristin Springfield
Tree Hugger
Rock lover

Full circle

 

22 years ago I made a decision.  It was a significant adult decision; to take a job that required me to move to a brand new place.  The plan was to stay there for 5 years at the most.  Remember, God laughs when we make plans.  Life happened to me and many other significant decisions were made that left me in that same town.  Those 22 years are exactly half of my life on this planet, with most of them being in the “grown up“ years.

When I returned from my Tree Hugging Tour another significant and surprising decision was made.  I wanted to stay.  For many years I had grown tired and disgruntled with aspects of my life.  Some of that blame was put on the town.  After shedding much emotional baggage, taking a work sabbatical for 7 months, and finally listening to what my heart was saying, my decision was easy.  I remade my home here again differently this time.  Life is no longer happening to me.  I make peace and joy alive in my heart and soul, then life shows up for me to join in with awareness.  It is so much more fun now.

That job accepted 22 years ago was at the local hospital.  Then as a new graduate Occupational Therapist, I was ready to take on the world and make a difference.  Many friends were made in the 11 years of employment there, yet believed I was long forgotten by now.  I love it when I am wrong.  In the world of therapy there is always a need for an extra set of hands in order to care for all the patients when needed, it is called PRN help.  With how I designed my new life in this small town, I now have time to offer that PRN help. I walked into Human Resources a few weeks ago to join the team again.  I was delightfully greeted with joy and gratitude while offered hugs to welcome me home.  Tears found their way to the surface.

Today was orientation.  It is the same and yet so different.  Peers from the past are now leaders.  I celebrate their advancements!  I received my badge today and was taken aback on the picture in comparison to my picture 22 years ago.  I am the same person yet so different.  I still want to make an impact, yet in a very different way this time.  Offering support and a helping hand while bringing a smile to someone’s face feeds my soul!  I am fortunate to have a license that allows me to do that within the same place my early significant decision leads me to.

It is good to be home in a brand new way.

Namaste!
Kristin Springfield