You feel what you feel. There is no amount of logic that can stop an emotion. We can rationalize an emotion, punish ourselves for them, or accept them. The emotion carries a message for us to pay attention. It invites us to look within ourselves, while it shines a spot light on a lesson that is happening right in front of us.
I am one who previously would punish myself for a feeling and then wildly overcompensate for the situation that produced the lesson for me to pay attention to. Like the times in relationships when something in me knew that it needed to end, but I stayed longer. I do all that I can to stay present in the now despite how uncomfortable it may be!
Meditation has been part of my daily practice for the past year and a half. This has offered me the opportunity to calmly spend time with my emotions. Hiking, yoga and running also provide time to listen in a physically active way. I have learned that emotions aren’t the enemy. For the enemy was my quick reaction to them in order to get them out of my lap. Similar to the game of hot potato. Many emotion filled events may have turned out differently if I was courageous enough at the time to breathe, look for the lesson, and then responded.
I choose to do that now. In doing so, I have set myself free from the responsibility to “make” others feel differently by changing who I am. It is more loving to allow others to navigate their own way with their emotions. There is a time and place for logic. Yet it is more effective to put logic on actions, not emotions. Allow yourself to feel what you feel. Shaming a feeling does not make it go away, actually it makes it come up stronger.
Breathe, listen, respond and maybe write a bunch in a journal.