It has been 7 weeks since I left the place called home since 1994, and I feel amazing! Whenever you go there you are, but the location makes all the difference in the world. There was a rainbow of emotions around taking this big leap of faith in leaving everything I have known for a life that unfolds 90 days at a time that takes me to places I have never lived before. People do this all the time, there are companies designed for traveling professionals, but this is all new to me.
The weight that has been lifted from my shoulders with this transition is immeasurable. I will attempt to describe what it is like for me with a story of packing up my home. I am a doer by nature and don’t procrastinate. The expectation I have of me for completing tasks is close to ridiculous. My previous job was part-time, which left me ample time to pack, paint and get ready to move. Initially, I was hesitant to remove all things from my walls in order to paint, as I knew the items would not be rehung, and I’d be living in a home with empty walls. I imagined it to be depressing with an empty feeling. I had already gone through my items and given so much away that the home was far from filled. The empty walls were the remaining task of preparing to let go of this home. My “Get Shit Done” attitude met with a rainy week and every room in the house found itself in a fresh coat of paint. Much to my surprise, my anticipated feelings of sadness were completely wrong. It actually felt refreshing to have a clean slate.
Much of the pictures and art on my walls were from several years ago. I selected all of the items because they brought joy to my life at the time I moved into the home. Yet all of them also had a very painful back story. What I did not realize was that the story played simultaneously in my head when I looked at the items. With the walls empty and freshly painted everything changed. I felt more relaxed. It was quiet in my head, which is rare! The negative back story to all the items had become normal and unnoticed until they were gone.
Now that I have been away from that town for 7 weeks another layer of emotional weight has been shed. It feels like the last 10 pounds that are so hard to lose when on a diet. It takes great dedication and a shift in perspective to free you from the last lingering pounds. For me, it has taken a shift in career, over 5,000 miles of driving and letting go of the idea that home has to be a physical place. Jumping (or driving) from a home place that was filled with joy, comfort, and very painful back stories required a great deal of personal courage. I have learned that bliss is just on the other side of fear. Now that I have walked through some of my primal fears to a brand new location, I ‘m free from the back stories that accompanied not only the items on my walls but all of the places in the town as well. Now going literally anywhere I do not have a nagging dreadful story in the background of my mind. As this is truly a new chapter waiting to be filled with new experiences; FINALLY!