Almost there

I am almost there with regards to many things in life.  Graduation from yoga teacher training is in 2 weeks.  After 7 months of intense training, I am almost there.  The I Love Me (a little bit more) Tour consisting of a month long road trip to Montana begins in 3 weeks, I am almost there.

Two years ago when I first set forth on the epic 3 month, 11,000 mile road trip I called the Tree Hugging Tour, I had several goals in mind.  One of those goals was to find my home. The Universe has a way of working things out.  I discovered that I love my little home in the small town I have lived in for over 20 years.  As I settle in to calling Danville Home, I realize that I am almost there.  New reasons show up that open my heart o the awareness of already being home.

The journey of yoga teacher training reawakened some of my earlier life intentions.  The primary one is the desire to live from the inside out.  Releasing attachment to what an outcome needs to look like while striving to not take things personally is a worthy challenge.  I am loved more than I can possibly grasp.  So are you.  There have been many times over the last 7 months when I have touched the awareness of great love.  Sitting in meditation, quietly walking in the woods and holding hands continue to open my kaleidoscope heart to the power of Great Love.

I look forward to my upcoming tour.  It will mini version of my 2015 trip.  Yet this time, I am not searching for anything outside of me.  I am looking forward to spending that time with my highest self, Mother Nature and God.  I am almost there!

Namaste!

Kristin Springfield
Yogi (almost)

Hitting the road…Again!

I will be hitting the road again soon!  It will be almost exactly 2 years since my Tree Hugging Tour when I settle back into my car.  This trip will be only a month long rather than three months.  My heart and soul are so happy! The main events scheduled are hugging trees, walking in the woods, visiting a few National Parks, and spending time with new and old friends.  I stayed in some wonderful Airbnb places on my first trip, and am fortunate enough to be returning to two places I visited in 2015.  Honestly, I hope to be kissed by Jack (the ass) one more time.  Here is one of my posts from 2015  when the Universe provided exactly what I asked for.  Enjoy a trip down memory lane:

Be aware of what you ask for

Posted on: September 23, 2015

We have all heard the saying, “Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.”  That sounds a bit threatening with a bit of doom in it.  So I am switching it up .  How about, “Be aware of what you are asking for, as it will show up in unexpected ways.”  Being aware is similar to being conscious.  Pay attention to your intention and ask from your heart.  Then allow the universe to bring it to you.  On this journey I have set the intention to be present and aware.  With all that being said, obviously, that is not possible for me to do that all the time.  Hell, I am distracted and trying to release my panic about the future while taking in the beauty of each moment.

During one of my long driving days, I found myself missing male companionship.  Offhandedly I said out loud that I would really like a kiss from a male.  Notice the word choice, male.  I didn’t think anything of it, as that is not going to happen along this trip, or so I thought.  I continued to a cabin in South Dakota.  The property is beautiful, so I set out on a walk down to the river.  I had heard there were donkeys on the property, yet hadn’t seen them.  Along my walk the donkeys magically appeared.  One male and two females.  Guess which one came right up to me?  Yep, the male.  Of course I didn’t think anything of it.  After I pet the donkey, I went on to finish my walk. Sitting by the river and meditating my mind finally quieted.  Upon my return journey, I spotted the donkey clan again.  I stopped to pet them again. The only one interested was the male.  I was rubbing the space between his ears, realizing that is exactly what I am doing for myself along this trip, rubbing the space between my ears.  All of a sudden the donkey raises its head and kisses me.

Yep, I was kissed by an ass!  He is way cuter and more loving than any of the asses that have kissed me in the past!  At the moment I realized that I just received what I had asked for less than 4 hours before, I burst into tears.  Then I laughed!  How many times have I received what I asked for and just failed to recognize it?  Oh, probably a million.  Clearly, I need to pay attention to what I am asking for and what shows up.

After the ass named, Jack, kissed me he followed me around until I left.  When I walked up to the cabin he ran after me.  When I was sitting on the screened in porch talking with another guest, we looked up to see his butt in the window.  I went outside to find him waiting for me.  The next morning on my walk to the main house for breakfast, I met Jack (ass) and shared more kissing and love.  I have to laugh at the realization I was kissed by an ass.  I am done kissing asses in the human form.  It is not worth it, and too painful in the end.  I’d rather have a loving donkey.  Fortunately, I don’t have to do that either!

I laugh about the speed in which I received what I asked for.  I realized that I needed to be specific and aware of when asking.  Do I really want to be kissed?  Sometimes, but that is not it entirely.  What I want is to be truly connected at a loving level with myself.  True companionship has to start within me.  I need first to be compassionate, forgiving and loving to myself.  Then and only then will the people I need to further grow with show up.  So, I put out there my intention to connect with all the parts of myself in a loving and compassionate way. Yet more male animals have shown up to give kisses.

Let’s review all the kindness I have received from males over the past few states.  South Dakota brought me Jack(ass).  A sweet grey and white young male who followed me around after I rubbed in between his ears.  Idaho brought Derk, the Great Dane.  He surprised me with kissing me immediately as I was sitting on the couch.  I turned my head to talk with Hostel Beth and there he was looking right at me, eye to eye.  Before I could scream from surprise he kissed me!  Upon returning to the hostel after a long walk, I spotted something ahead.  I stopped the car to get a better look, for I wasn’t sure if it was a person or a deer.  Nope, it was Derk.  He took off running toward the car.  I opened the window and smooch!  He followed me down the driveway and into the house. It was authentic love!

Montana presented my white horse and Great Pyrenees. A kiss Sunday night from the horse and one Monday morning from the dog.  Oh, and the horse farts every time he coughs.  I laugh out loud every time I hear it, because farts are funny!   This is so interesting and wonderful.   All of the males are safe! None will break my heart.  There will be no shared bank accounts, property purchasing, kid raising, or harsh words.  Perfection!  I wonder what else is to show up along this journey.

It is funny how the universe shows up!  I am certainly paying attention to what I am asking for and what shows up.

Namaste with a smile,

Kristin Springfield

 

Where does home live?

Where does home live?  I have been lost for a while, and made the mistake of attaching the feeling of home to a person.  I also attached love and happiness to people outside of myself.  People and situations are simply reflections of what is inside of me.  Home is the feeling that I am awakening to and its actual address, despite who is or isn’t in my life.

Reclaiming my power has been a journey  I committed myself to about 10 years ago.  I have discovered that love, joy, home, and happiness all live within me.  Sadness and suffering live there too.  I believed that everything else could leave me and I would still have “home” if, this one person didn’t leave. The family I thought I would have for the rest of my lifetime ended 3 years ago.  My physical address changed and many of my relationships transformed since I dedicated myself to healing.  People have either left my life completely, the essence of the relationships that stayed drastically changed, or they are brand new people.  I was hoping that the relationship with one person would be insulated from this process.    

When the shift to love myself fully occurred within me, everything external eventually would have to shift.  It may take awhile but I knew at some level, every relationship would have to change. The relationship with me is what set in motion this metamorphosis of life.  You see, once I started to fall in love with this wildly messy, beautiful being that is perfectly in process, I wanted to get to know that part of me better.  I wanted to see what fed my soul and do more of that.  I love to run, but the motivation behind running is different now. Rather than running away from the storm that is in front of me, I now move towards it.  In the act of going through the storm is where the true healing exists.  For in the center of the storm, is where I find God, peace and awareness.  

I am at my best in the woods, on long road trips, laughing with friends and dancing around the living room.  I now take care of me in all of those ways and many more.  I had the energetic tattoo of “Sucker” removed from my forehead,  and picked myself up from being the doormat only to discover the key to love is right under my feet.  I radiate joy and deep emotions all the while, I am dedicated to learning to be strong and lovingly authentic in order to create sacred relationships.  Everyday is different and some run smoother than others.  Each step is worth it, even the painful ones.

People will do what they want.  They always do.   Controlling another person is an illusion that does not last.  Previously, I wanted my external life to heal my inner life.  That is not possible, since the external world reflects to us what we believe about ourselves and life.  All of the beautiful and painful aspects that exist in life have not changed since I dedicated myself to healing 10 years ago.  I simply now recognize that beauty is everywhere, even in the pain.  People are not anti-Kristin (or others), they are pro-themselves.  Authentic and vulnerable conversations concerning our own actions take a level of awareness, compassion, courage and empathy that may take decades to develop.  Remembering that as significant relationships in my life evolve is important and challenging.  Much to my surprise a key relationship that represented “home” has also transformed drastically, just not in the way I imagined.  Ellen DeGeneres said, “When your heart is broken, when your heart has cracks in it, it lets the light in.”  This shift allowed me to let an enormous amount of light into my heart.  It also gave me the courage to stand up for myself with loving compassion for everyone involved while establishing boundaries.  The experience has gifted me the opportunity to remember the value in giving others space to live life as they desire.  I surrender completely, and do not claim to know what is best for anyone other than me.  As a result of this, I return to my inner home!  There is no place I’d rather be remembering all that lives inside me.

Namaste!

Kristin

Home Safe