It has been one year since I left everything known to leap off the mountain top into the unknown. I have a stone next to my bed that says, “Leap and the net will appear.” Yes, a net appeared in the form of loving support from family, encouragement from trusted friends, new adventures, working through old fears and expanding my comfort zone. I had two desires when I jumped right out of the known: one was to find my next landing spot and the other was to create a sacred relationship.
Both of these desires were within my grasp at all times, I just didn’t notice. While taking time to sit with the true meaning of finding my landing spot, I realized that it was more about finding a new place to call home. Much to my surprise, I found that home is where the heart is and lives within me. The sense of home can be created anywhere as longs as I remember that I carry it within me at all times. That is incredibly freeing. It doesn’t matter where I physically live, because home is a feeling I have the choice to keep in mind or not. Much like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, she had the ability to return home at any time. I don’t need to click my heels, I just need to breathe, remember and go within.
Creating a sacred relationship has been a bit of a different story. After countless first dates, enjoyable times and heartbreak, I find myself a bit disheartened while wondering if I will ever find something sacred with a man again. I certainly have not experienced any lasting success in the past year. Yet something wonderful happened when spending time with just me. I have relished in the opportunity to get to know who I am without the constraints of a relationship, which again, is incredibly freeing! Self-dates have been fun this past year. I am super appreciative with the investment of time, planning, and money that I am putting into myself. I finally can celebrate that I am great company (even if the conversation is the same much of the time). Surely, I still want a sacred relationship with a man. Yet in the meantime, I am going to live this solo life like a boss. That way, when he shows up there will be no question that we are meant to be! In the meantime, I might as well chase the sun while doing whatever I want!!
The new friends I have met along the way are spectacular and have brought so much joy to this unknown process. By the time I figure out where to set down roots, I will have made lasting friendships all over the country! Renting a room in the homes of others provided the perfect amount of solo time coupled with family time. It is spectacular to hear the following statements, “Coffee is ready.” ” Good morning.” ” Have a great day!” And my all time favorite, ” Would you like to have dinner with us?” Thank you so much to my house families over this past year! Welcoming Journey and me into your homes and lives is something I will cherish forever!
I have no clue where this leap of faith will take me and that is okay. As uncomfortable as it is for me to do this, the experiences that have occurred over the past year would have NEVER happened had if I stayed in the land of comfort! Blasting through the walls of discomfort and fears have lead me to the land of sunshine and smiling faces! Just last night I was invited to happy hour with a patient that I no longer work with. I am not sure what this will all look like in the end, but I believe wholeheartedly that I am doing something right at this moment!