Exhaustion quiets the mind!

Exhaustion sure does quiet the mind

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Posted on: September 22, 2015 • 8 Comments

One of my objectives on this journey is to quiet my mind.  I must report that is is not as easy as it sounds, yet I have found one key to this quietness.  Exhaustion will shut up the mind, personality, and ego every time! At least it is working for me.  The exhaustion I am talking about is the physical kind.  Emotional exhaustion does quiet certain parts of the mind, but not all of them.  Anxiety, fear and sadness can penetrate through emotional exhaustion as long as I am conscious.  After that, those things can work their way into my dreams.  Physical exhaustion calms all of that down nicely.   I have been hiking most days along this trip.  The quietness that accompanies me on the last half of each trip is spectacular.  Today that peaceful mind happened within the first hour of the 5+ hour hike.  This was the most strenuous hike I have ever taken.  The challenge in this quiet mind intention is to stay “Bear Aware” along the way.  I have to make noise in order to not startle a bear.  I am sorry, but I know who would be startled if a bear and I were to meet.  The bear has a definite advantage over my bell, songs, bear spray and self calming chit chat!   The self calming chat I found myself saying today in order to deter bears made me laugh.  I have been an avid exerciser throughout my adolescence and adulthood.  As the sweat dripped down my face as I ascended to over 9600 feet in elevation, I reminded myself that all of that exercise lead me to this moment.  And I was going to make it to the lake, damnit!  I even found myself saying thank you for all for the insane stuff I had be doing in cross-fit over the past year.  Those walking lunges sure did come in handy today.  As it felt like 5 miles of up hill lunges followed by 5 more miles down hill.  I could almost hear Wes (the cross-fit guru) reminding me that it’s not that bad and I have got this! I am thankful that tomorrow is a driving day, for there is no way I would be hiking! As the exhaustion reached its peak,  a wonderful sense of peace and gratitude seemed to take over.  My bear aware talk took on a loving release of all the pain that brought me to this point in my journey.  Forgiving myself did bring tears to my eyes today along the hike.  I have made decisions that did not serve my highest self in the past.  I wanted to be loved from the outside so I would feel good enough to love myself on the inside.  It never worked out.  Actually it usually turned horribly wrong.  In my peaceful mind,  I forgave myself and loved myself more today than yesterday.  This trip is the best thing I could have ever done. When I am physically exhausted all the bullshit falls away.  What is left is love, gratitude (for finishing this hike), and my quirky gifts from God.   I am looking forward to being able to quiet my mind without the physical exhaustion! Namaste! Kristin

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Coincidence or not?

Coincidence or not?

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Posted on: September 21, 2015 • 2 Comments

Coincidence or not?!  I visited the lovely town of Livingston, MT this afternoon.  Art galleries, coffee shops, Victorian homes, a  tattoo shop, bars and thrift stores are nestled here.  Hmmh.  I love all of those things now and I most definitely did at 22 years old, when I graduated college.  Is this my current spot? Or one I am collecting my youthful pieces?  I walked into a gift store and found my favorite line of jewelry, Holly Ashi.

Delightfully they had the pair of earrings that I lost one of 6 months ago and just had made into a pendant before I left for this journey.  The owner’s name is Kristen.  Random?!?!

I continued along my walk to find an Alchemy center.  That may not mean anything to anyone else, yet to me it means emotional freedom.  I started intense therapy towards Alchemy or transformation several  years ago.   Another moment caught between laughter and passing out.  There were several  other messages that are so necessary  to this moment in my life, that they are hard to ignore.  So not only does this location gather my childhood desires, it also brings my adulthood home to me as well.  I have about 10 more states to visit.  We shall see what they have to offer as far as my spot.

Namaste!

Kristin Springfield

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White horse and a giant dog

White horse and a giant dog

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Posted on: September 21, 2015 • 0 Comments

Now in Montana, I am staying in a tiny cabin with amazing mountain views on all sides!  It is like a dream come true.  Life added a wonderful bonus at this location to further enhance my intention to pick up pieces of myself I left behind.  A beautiful white horse and a giant dog. Let me back up to fill in the story.

When I was in elementary school, my home was close enough to walk to school.  Yes, in the 1970′s it was acceptable to walk to school.  Actually, I don’t think there was even an option to ride the bus.  Parents did not drive their kids to school.  I not only live to tell about it, I remember it with great joy.  When I was very young my mom would walk with me and a group of kids from the neighborhood.  As I grew older, maybe 8 years old, there were many days that I walked part of the way home alone.  Those were my favorite parts of the walk. The path lead through the woods and past a small stable with horses.  Maybe that is where the love of trees and being in the woods started.  There is no place on earth that I feel closer to my heart and God, than when I am in the woods.

Back to the horses.  My mom made my lunch most days, and always packed me carrots.  I HATED carrots, yet horses LOVE them!  I stopped every day at the stables and fed my carrots to the horses.  This helped on many levels.  I helped feed the horses while I  brought home an empty lunch box.  An all around win!  I am sure my mom knew what I was doing.  Needless to say I felt triumphant!

One year a white colt was born.  I was lucky enough to see this baby learn to walk, run, and eat my carrots. It was magical!  I wanted to grow up and work in that stable.  Better yet, I wanted that white horse with all of my heart!  Much like most girls, I wanted a horse and did not get one.  As time would have it, we moved away and the stable was torn down to build more houses.  I wondered where my white horse may have gone after I left.  Well, look what I have at my Montana home, but a beautiful white horse! I know it is not the same white horse, yet it is pretty awesome to have one here.  Last night after I brought my things in I went out into the yard to take in all of the mountains and beauty.  I look to the left and here comes my white horse.  He comes directly up to me and stops before me to receive love.  My loving rubs are returned with a kiss!  How perfect.  An amazing part of my childhood has been restored!

Giant dog.  This Montana tiny house keeps getting better.  I take my coffee out to the back deck to enjoy the warm sunrise.  As I sit down and settle in, I hear heavy footsteps behind me.  Trying not to freak out, I turn to see a giant white Pyrenees coming toward me.  He walks right up to my face, receives my love and gives me a kiss. Amazing!  Now the history of wanting a giant dog as a child.  Since I couldn’t have a horse, why not go for a dog big enough to ride?  Mom was afraid of big dogs and the size of the poop was daunting. My grandfather had a cousin that we would visit when I was little.  They had a German Shepherd that was as tall as I was at the time.  I wanted that dog as much as I wanted that white horse.  Guess what?  Neither one showed up in my childhood.  Well, low and behold, they both show up at my Montana home!  In college and early adulthood, I did buy my own giant dogs.  Yet they did not grow to the height that the German Shepherd was next to me as a child.

The white horse and giant dog in Montana are a perfect reminder to enjoy the magic and wonder of animals.  On a great note as an adult, I am only visiting them and do not have the responsibility of caring for them long term.  Much like I did as a child,  my responsibility is to give them love, receive kisses and leave.

Here’s to collecting and remembering childhood delight!

Namaste!

Kristin Springfield