Collecting my younger self

9-7-15 collecting my younger self

My first night on the trip will be remembered forever!

This trip I chose to stay in Airbnb places.  Hotel traveling can be so lonely.  I had been doing that for many years and wanted to experience something different.  The first stop along my journey is in Lexington, KY.  The home I am staying in is located in the historic district and owned by Karma.  Wow!  My thought was, let us stay with Karma on the first night of this healing journey!

Karma is spectacular!  The home is lovely and she asks if I like live jazz music.  Sure, I like live jazz music, especially if it is free and within walking distance.  My luck would have it that this event was indeed free and just down the street.  As Karma begins to share the details, I feel my legs get weak.  She shares that this event is being held at the Ashland Henry Clay Estate on Richmond Ave.  I realize that I must go to this place!  You see this information is very important to me.  I married my first husband in Ashland, VA and the Henry Clay Inn while we lived in Richmond, VA.  As I am walking to this event, I am struck by the similarities of this place to where I lived with my first husband in Richmond.  The street is lined with historic homes.  It is tree lined with a grass median, just like the street we lived on together.

I arrive at this music event to be greeted by about 100 young families and couples.  They are roughly ranging in age from early 20s to mid 30s, which of course is the ages my first husband and I were married to each other.  It was nice to reminisce and show gratitude to that time as well as to the end of that marriage.  After the amazing band ended their set, I made my way around to the front of the estate. I noticed a sign upon entering that I wanted to look at.  I was curious to learn if this was the same Henry Clay that was prominent in Ashland, VA.  I am disappointed to read that this plaque is about the heating system of the estate.  Yet laugh aloud as I discover the name of this state of the art system is Springfield!

Thank you God for making these signs loud and obvious!  Please continue to do so along this journey, for I do not want to miss anything!

Namaste!

Kristin Springfield

Start the Tree hugging tour!

9-6-15 Eye to Eye
It is the eve of my Womanly Journey Tree Hugging Tour start date and my Highlander arrives to take me out to dinner. I am dressed up, as this is a celebration! I am taking a huge leap of faith by investing in my heart. I am about to leave everything I have known for 9 weeks with one purpose: Calm my mind and listen to my heart.

The weather on this Saturday evening was lovely. We decided to go to the nicest restaurant in Danville with a deck area to enjoy the night air as well as a good meal. Upon arrival the hostess escorted us to the deck area. While opening the door, she is telling me that I can pick any place I’d like to sit. Just as she moves to allow me to walk through the door, I find myself looking right into the eyes of my second ex husband. We have not spoken to or seen each other since the day I moved out in December of 2014. My stomach drops as the adrenaline floods my veins. I simply maintained eye contact focusing on sending him love. It felt like eternity, yet it was maybe 5 seconds. He simply stared back with cold dead eyes. I then released the gaze and picked my seat, which was behind him at an angle that would have required him to turn all the way around to look at me again.

It was intensely interesting to look into the eyes of someone who used to love me. As his eyes were cold, mine were warm. No words passed my lips, but love from my heart was sent to his highest self. For that I am thankful. It also was great to have my Highlander behind me. It is always a bonus when there is a large muscular man over 6 feet tall standing behind me who is clearly on my side.

My second ex husband and his date left after finishing their evening at the restaurant. I was so thankful since I was in need of the ladies room. You see, I could not go back through the same set of doors to go to the restroom while they were still there. I knew I was not that ready to deal with his glare again. After a minute from them leaving, I hopped up and walked to the door. Fortunately, I looked through the glass first prior to opening the door. He was in the narrow hallway waiting outside the ladies room with his back to the door. I have done a great deal of healing, but I am aware of my limits. There was no way I could walk past him in that narrow corridor without touching him or speaking to him. Then, I would be in the bathroom with his girlfriend. Oh my! So I simply turned back around to go to my seat.

Well, now that the initial encounter is over, I can get on with my journey!

Here’s to collecting pieces of me!
Namaste!
Kristin Springfield

One month at home!

12/9/15

Sunrise

Pretty giant steps have been taken in a forward moving intention over the past month.  My house is for sale.  The need to cut property ties to Danville is needed to set my heart free.  Or at least, that is what my heart says.  I desire complete freedom.  I have aggressively gone through my “stuff” in order to lighten the physical load.  While on the trip, I lightened my heart weight.  Now it is time to do that physically.  

In that physical lightening experience I was presented with the privilege of release.  I returned a lifetime full of CDs to my first husband.  They were something I held onto with both hands.  Upon further examining that feeling, I discovered that I believed if I let the CDs go, then I’d lose the memories that were connected to all of those songs.  Nothing can ever take those beautiful memories away.  Releasing the physical CDs allowed me to gift him with something he has wanted for years.  The bonus is that I could say Merry Christmas at the same time.   He expressed gratitude and understanding that will forever be cherished.

 

When going through more boxes I found items of my second husband.  Now that is a bit stickier, to say the least.  My heart is healing beautifully, yet it is still sensitive.  It is kind of like a sunburn now. It is necessary to pay attention and be gentle while moving on with life, is pretty much where I am.  While putting up my beloved 1950s Aluminum Christmas tree, I found ornaments that were made by his boys when they were very young.  I cherish the ornaments made by my daughter in her early years.  I knew that I must return them to him.  I also found the infamous rock and picture from our trip to the Grand Canyon 3 years ago in a box that made absolutely no sense at first.  

The Grand Canyon trip was an incredible experience for me.  I had a reoccurring dream of seeing myself meditate on the edge of the Grand Canyon as eagles flew up from the canyon. During a trip to Vegas, my 2nd ex-husband planned a trip to the Grand Canyon.  We took a rock home and had a wonderful picture taken of us with the Eagle ridge in the background.  During my packing prior to me leaving, I apparently took the rock and picture.  He asked for them back.  I could not find them anywhere.  On occasion I have gone through a box I think it might be in, with no luck.  Well, apparently in my saddened mental state I packed them in a place I knew I would never open; the box of king sized sheets.  You see, my home is too small for a king size bed, so I would never go through that box while living here.  In my effort to lighten my load, I repacked that box more efficiently into a plastic container and located the items by accident.  Yikes, now what?  Return and release.  I returned the ornaments, rock and picture to the home I left a year ago with a card saying the rock and picture are yours to keep.  Enjoy!  Upon driving away, I felt such a wonderful heart lightening event.  

 

I am thankful for the loving release of something physical so I could open my heart fully to the beauty of the memories!  I love my old music!  Now I have my own solo picture at the grand canyon with an amazing rainbow by my side, and I brought home new rocks!

 

My Asheville adventures of the “THIS IS IT TOUR” are already showing great fun!  During my drive, I noticed a sense of peace and relaxation wash over me.  I had driven about 120 miles from home.  Apprently it takes 120 miles in the car to return to a peaceful mind and heart for me.  Today in West Asheville I visited a DVD store with the most diverse and honest labeling I have ever seen.  Great meals and great company are abundant here!  I have already been invited to a few different events Saturday night. I wonder which I will choose.  Stay tuned for the fun.

 

Here’s to returning and releasing!

Namaste!

Kristin