I experience a rainbow of emotions as I return from my daughter’s college graduation. Where in the world did the time go? I swear it was just last week that she held my hand everywhere we went and called me Momma loudly and proudly. It is such a gift to watch this precious woman spread her wings as she creates her own life. It is a life that is uniquely hers. I could never have imagined where her life dreams would take her. When she was 3 she desperately wanted to be a whale keeper and that stuck until she learned that her cooking was loved by everyone around the age of 14. She bravely followed her dream in the world of culinary nutrition. She has lived in more places during the past 3 years than I have lived in my 45 years on the planet, and she’s just getting started. I see the sparkle in her eyes as she embraces her friends and loved one in the area of the country where she made her home. I am in awe of this woman who stands before me. She is human and learning to parent herself as many of us did or still are. The transition to adulthood is exciting, exhausting and emotionally challenging. As it is the time in life when you must make choices for yourself.
I entered into marriage and parenthood early in my adulthood. My pattern continues to be filled with nurturing others, taking on tasks that somehow are easier for me because of my swift actions and lack of procrastination. Due to that I struggle with boundaries to protect the precious limited resource of my energy. There needs to be a deposit the equals the withdrawals in emotional energy for all of us. I have a pretty deep well of energy and neglect to pay attention to the signals of limited supply that my heart and body give me. Burn out lead me to quit life for 7 months in 2015. Here it is 2017 and I see some signals of my well of energy getting low. Much like my daughter learning to parent herself in her 20’s, I am learning to truly nurture myself in my 40’s. My role as a parent has evolved into a loving adviser. She teaches me more about life than I could ever show her. The perfect reflection of ourselves is often times found in our children. Thank you my darling daughter, for reminding me of all the world has to offer with regards to love, friendship and healing. I am forever grateful that you are in my life.
The past 3 years have been filled with hearts breaking open, adventures and awakening for my daughter and I as individuals and as a team. There is no one else I would rather experience life with than this amazing young woman!