Social media is an avenue to share pictures of your life with family, friends and the world if you choose to. I post photos from my trips and hikes. Honestly, the best ones are selected to share. Rarely do I post the blurry ground shots taken by accident. The shared pictures are only the highlights of my life. The shit storms are rarely captured and never shared. When I am midst of emotional stress, taking a selfie is the furthest thing from my mind. As I peruse the posts of my friends, family and the world, only the positive highlights are shared by them too. Sadly this leads to very unrealistic images of what a full life looks like.
One evening, I decided to take the extra time to straighten my hair in effort to look different with hopes to feel different. Anyone with naturally curly hair who lives in the south understands the labor of love (or self hate) required to take on such a task alone! The end result was great as long as I stayed in an air conditioned environment.
Social media cannot ever give anyone self esteem, yet at times it can provide some needed kindness. That night in particular my mind needed to hear, “You look pretty,” and social media provided that for me. What I did not share was how upset I was a few hours later. That would have taken courage which could have appeared needy. It would definitely been the ugly side of a selfie. You see that night, I got stood up. No, that is not awful or life altering event, it just hurt. Some troubling things happened earlier in the week in a totally different area of my life and was looking forward to spending time with this new man. He didn’t show. He isn’t a bad person, he just didn’t text, call or show up. Was he being purposefully mean? Probably not. His life was busy and he forgot. Life happens, yet I am not in a place where I desire to spend time with people who forget about time that is planned in advance to spend together without a quick text. So I ended it and haven’t seen him since. No biggie.
The picture taken the next day was completely different. Both are a true representation of life, yet I only chose to share the “pretty” one until now. We would actually have a far better understanding of each other, if the vulnerable times were captured as well. Vulnerability was in the “pretty” picture, but it was just hidden. In the second one, it is clearly visible. The sun continued to rise and my heart lifted again. Overall, I am a very happy person who looks for positivity in everything. At the same time I am human with feelings that get hurt. Today, I courageously show you the other side of my smile.
Living a full life!